J e r e m y R y a n

what a wonderful day... how i wish every single day could be like that... sch was fun, driving at ssdc was better, but the activity during the later part was the best. yes! she's happy! seeing her like that absolutely brightens up my day. but sometimes i dunno what i say, she can suddenly from HIGH to LOW... perhaps, i'm not being sensitive enough... whatever i said just now, i'm sorry. supposed to go down to Zouk, even have free entry also dun feel like going cause she's not going? but ya, i know u like the GUESS necklance thats y i got it for you. dun have to feel obliged or wat. dun ask me those questions like what do u see in me... as i said, what i see or feel for you is more than words can say. installed the blow off valve to ease of the pressure... pls work man. hmm... i should stick with the simple update i initially planned - "i made her happy" but suddenly, i dunno what happened... i hate it when such things just happen, very irritating... grrr.. but i know what to do... anyway, i really enjoyed my day, i know u did too. dun study too late... gotta wake up early tmr...

posted by Jeremy Ryan @ 11:43 PM

Gregorian - Once In A Lifetime

Cuando noche esta, te esperaré - When it's in the night, I hope to you
Quiero volverte loco esta noche - Tonight will be crazy
Con la luna llena, te esperaré - During the full moon, i wish to you
Hoy morirás entre mis brazos - Today you will die in my arms
Y nunca soñarás de algo mas - And you will never dream of something but

When you're near me, I close my eyes,
I want to feel you by my side
When you kiss me, I close my eyes,
I want you by my side

When I realize there's no telling lies,
Then I know that once in a lifetime
Making love to you, every time it's new,
You know you're my once in a lifetime

Todo tu cuerpo temblará, - Your whole body will shake
Pero esta vez, es realidad - But this time, is reality
Aún que el tiempo pase, - Still that time happens
Nunca, nunca, lo olvidarás, - Never never u will forget
Sera, solo una vez en tu vida - Sera single once in your lifetime

When you touch me, I burn inside,
Colder chills run down my spine
When you take me, it's hot in love,
- Can't get enough!

When I realize there's no telling lies,
Then I know that once in a lifetime
Making love to you, every time it's new,
You know you're my once in a lifetime

Once in a lifetime, once in a lifetime, once in a lifetime

Giving all I've got, I'm your love-me-not,
You're my lover, once in a lifetime
Taking care of you, every time it's new,
You know you're my once in a lifetime

posted by Jeremy Ryan @ 12:06 AM

Usually i don't regret anything i do or say, however last night i did spurt out something which i regretted... I pray so hard i wont do such a thing again... oh god, pls... can u make things work out... although i'm a hardcore pessimist, i want things to turn out nicer just this time... grant me my prayers... i'm so sorry... lord god, u know its fated or not... u have the power, i'm human afterall... i'm not mr perfect or fantastic... but i'll give you my word, i'll be faithtul & devoted to you. I LOVE YOU !

Don't wanna close the door
Don't wanna give up on it
Don't wanna fight no more
We'll find a way around it
Where's the love we had
We can make it last

Tell me what I gotta be
Tell me what you wanna do
'Cause I can't live my life the way you want me to
You know I can't go on living like we do
Do I have to cry for you, do I have to cry for you

So tell me what it's for
If there's no winner in it
Nobody's keeping score
Lets start from the beginning
Can we make it last with the love we had

Tell me what I gotta be
Tell me what you wanna do
'Cause I can't live my life the way you want me to
You know you can't go on living like we do
Do I have to cry for you, do I have to cry for you

Do I gotta stand in the cold dark night 'til the morning light
Yeah
Do i have to say i won't let you get away

What do I gotta be
Tell me what you wanna do
I can't live my life the way you want me to
You know I can't go on living like we do
Do I have to cry for you, yeah
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, hold on
You know I can't go on living like we do
Do I have to cry for you, do I have to cry for you

posted by Jeremy Ryan @ 10:49 PM

kiss to tell u i love you, hug to tell u how i miss you, hold hands to tell u how important u are to me; whenever i see you... but i can't do that... ppl, don't ask me "why?".... felt like i'm pouring out my sorrows to everyone to pity me again, FUCK ANYONE WHO THINKS THAT WAY straight up. i would like to explain for Blogger, what is it all about actually. A blogspot is actually a place where u have things to say out, but u just dun like to say it out loud. u might prefer typing than saying, cause somethings or actually most things for me i cant say it out although i want to. Ok, then, i dun wanna continue on & on, its getting no where.

i wanna ask myself, am i thinking too much? am i making assumptions? am i thinking of the impossible? am i always gonna go through the hard way to get anything i want? am i jinxed for life? is this retribution? am i gonna fall so hard as usual & take a very long or might not get up again? honestly, i do not know why is it like this... potong jalan? i dun think so... wrong word to use... u really can make me laugh, cry, smile, frown, fustrated everything. although i have limited TRUE frds out there, u are very special, which makes me know how important u are to me... never like that i felt so strong for any girl before... what's that thing in you that drives me going in all directions... sigh, i dunno.

but the matter of fact is... i'm still a NOBODY... i'm not some fucking hunk or sauve guy out there, just someone that hates the heat so FUCKING badly. wanting it simple & making it simple is still my wish... my biggest wish still stands; its to lead a simple & contented life... i've heard so many morons saying that, but action speaks louder than words... i'm trying to, day by day... feel like shouting FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ARGH! taking the hard path is like a punishment for things i did... i gladly accept it, i have to anyway, its been 19 long fucking yrs now, so it really doesnt matter...

wondering wat are u doing now... honestly i do not know... u have ur rights, everyone have their rights. u dun have to report to anyone, no one have to. but is it wrong to think about it? i dunno... am i a MCP ?, SNAG ? or just a Ah Beng ? all my real frds out there, tell me who am i... i really want to know...

posted by Jeremy Ryan @ 12:34 AM

had a good talk with her... felt much better. sorry for letting u down my stupidity 10/10 for doing that. anyway, the weekend is here once again. time have been flying so fast for me... cause for the past 1 month or so. Lots of things have happened. gd or bad are not the words i outta use. Beautiful is the correct word. sigh... weekend is here... gotta study... but surely ppl will ask me go down clubbing... but i''m NOT A AH-SEAH KIA. i'm a leong kia. clubbing is ex. cause i got no boobs & a *****, ROFLMAO. anyway... "Life Is Short, Forget about Today & Think about Tommorow." 21st April 2004 is my Traffic Police Class 3 Practical Test. how am i feeling? i think i lost my balls. HAHAHAH. 1 ah lao sitting beside me... ask me turn left right center... more likely with my driving skills, i gonna get fuck by him left right center. ppl who know me & are reading, dun fucking laugh u llamas... ;) nah just kidding. anyway, gotta take a leak NOW, before my whole bed gets wet. my next update i think will be either about someone... or another clubbing night out... however who knows? i also not sure myself...

Reco Song. N'Sync - Tearin' Up My Heart

posted by Jeremy Ryan @ 2:21 AM

it's been a FUCKED UP DAY for me. everything from sky high pummelled down. i just screwed myself up so bad... sigh... fuck man... it's my fault. i'm wrong. sorry. i pray so hard this thing will never ever happen again... "FUCK THIS SHIT" this 3 words i said, created a living hell for me... just wanna tell u, i do cherish u. i promise u, i wont do such a thing again... i took u for granted... i'm an asshole. sorry girl... nevertheless do give some serious thoughts to this.

When two Virgos join together in a love match, they are likely to structure their lives in beautiful conjunction. The merging of two incredibly practical, industrious sorts such as these creates an incredibly devoted and doting couple although public displays of affection will be rare. Though their shared perfectionism and skepticism could lead to conflict, the level-headed Virgo duo will quickly resolve any disputes and move on to more pleasant times.

The Virgo-Virgo relationship runs like a well-oiled machine, particularly for couples who live together or have children. There is never any confusion over the delegation of responsibility, and both partners feel quite comfortable with this arrangement. Making lists, balancing accounts and keeping the house and affairs in order are second nature to both partners. They share a discriminating palette and exquisite taste. As long as they aren’t too harsh with one another, their relationship will be fulfilling in every way.

Virgo is ruled by the Planet Mercury. This Planet represents communication, and indeed this is Virgo's shtick. As a romantic couple, both are tuned in to one another's frequencies. Virgo is often able to read the nuances of words and gestures and take in an analytical meaning. One of the strongest points of the relationship is open and honest communication. Also, the reasoning and logical abilities of two Virgos together can quite possibly solve all the world’s problems. They are a versatile and brilliant team.

let this never end. peace out.

posted by Jeremy Ryan @ 5:35 PM

back to sch after 2 weeks of playing... 15 days... so much things have happened... we are still young, we outta do what we feel like. as long as it makes u happy, just do it... week11 of study week... my 3 common test, i guess its gonna be buanged. but wat to do? i dint study for it... my bad... anyway, i also dun care... cause Gaining Through Losing certainly works on this point....

long island tea... vodka lime... bourbon coke... & more vodka ribena... everything was piling up... it was all good in the end... havent felt like that. SERIOUSLY for a fucking long time.. Accacia is quite a nice show... it's been a long time since i watched 1... & it was so relaxed... love it. 12th - 13th March was unbelievable... absolutely surreal... :)

seng ah seng... i pray so hard for u to be ok... WaterBoys cannot do w/o u man... bros, i know we are prepared... but i hope everything goes smoothly... PLEASE PULL THROUGH SENG! *amen*

shoutouts... fatty for being there still... ol for his effort.... classmates ch & poon for taking time down... u guys were great... as for ben, i dunno wtf are u... but i'm there for u bro, anytime anywhere.

lastly, "u are so beautiful... to me...."

posted by Jeremy Ryan @ 3:14 AM

vodka ribena... the undisputed cai quan king has done it once again at CENTRO !! hahaha... gotta get some challenges man... CAN YA FEEL ME? argh... 2 more papers... 1 coming up in 8 hrs time... fucking repeated MATHS module... bth liao la... maths this maths that... when the fuck i'll stop takingmaths... love the weather today... & i hope every other day too... RAINY DAYS never SAY GOODBYE~ malaysian marlboro is kinda killin my throat stick by stick... i'll try to quit... smoking SG cigs will kill my $ flow... haiz, 6 yrs already... maybe its really time to pack up my zippo.... nobody knows but me... k la k la, gotta study now.... cannot afford to fail my maths or repeat any shiit anymore if not ah... sigh... really gone case liao... anyway... is the time ripe yet? hmmm... i guess its now or never... 'yak gou feel'...

My heart is filled with so much love
And I need someone I can call my own
To fall in love--that's what ev'ryone's dreaming of
I hold this feeling oh so strong
Life is too short to live alone
Without someone to call my own
I will care for you, you will care for me
Our love will live forever

Shower me with your love
Shower me with the love that I long for
Shower me with your love
Shower me with the love I've been waiting for

I close my eyes and pray all my wishes come true
Ev'ry night I go to sleep
Until you're mine, I'll wait for you endlessly
Can't you see
Fairy tales, they do sometimes come true
If you believe, it could happen to you
Like the stars that shine way up in the sky
Our love will live forever

Like the stars that shine way up in the sky
Our love will live forever
Live forever

Shower me with your love
Shower me with the love I've been waiting for

posted by Jeremy Ryan @ 1:32 AM

oh well, i've havent been feeling so positive & happy for ages.... today was really 1 of the best days i had in ages... driving was kewl... test run had only 10 demerit points... *WHAT A ACCOMPLISHMENT* imagine i had like 4-7 immediate failures over the lessons... today "godma" off, so ah hong took me... very gd driving session i had.... 1 more lesson baby... & here comes da TP test... sheesh~

met ch at ssdc... boy u can drink, but look at his RASH baby! fucking scary... U MORON! better train it so we can drink even more in time to come... LOL. saw caifen too while driving.. haha, her car was like kinda horse riding... haha damn funny... gd that nothing happened to her...

oh ya, after that channel 5 met channel 8... although the weather was as usual... HUMID & HOT LIKE FUCK but i still went through it...haha... visited my uncle at heeren then took her shoes... next saw Mr TopShop... fucker, look the same; ROFLMAO. but the best part i found a new place to chill althought the price was kinda steep... time for some advert. The Sanctuary Gardens By IndoChine nice place to chill... gd ambience... Pretty in Pink & Mochavilla tasted really gd.... or because i was drinking it with her? hmmm... then i heard 1 guy singing John Mayer - Your Body is Wonderland... not bad... but not as gd as Sting - Desert Rose @ ecp.

oh ya... Passionova 360 tmr will be a fucking hot event i guess... that's if i'm going. tix were sponsered by mr OL-LOL. haha... hopefully i won't be too leong tmr... *I NEED MONEY!!!!* should i go? actually the point is, would she go? heh. that's the bottemline....

alright, cheerios. i wanna nua liao... need to payback my sleep... so, catch u guys later...

posted by Jeremy Ryan @ 12:41 AM

i'm the channel 5 & u're the channel 8 haha, we click... that's y there's channel newsasia. YEAH! rain, ice cream, cooling... almost perfect.... channel I & channel U hehe...

posted by Jeremy Ryan @ 11:23 AM

Your wings are BROKEN and tattered. You are
an angelic spirit who has fallen from grace for
one reason or another - possibly, you made one
tragic mistake that cost you everything. Or
maybe you were blamed for a crime you didn't
commit. In any case, you are faithless and
joyless. You find no happiness, love, or
acceptance in your love or in yourself. Most
days are a burden and you wonder when the
hurting will end. Sweet, beautiful and
sorrowful, you paint a tragic and touching
picture. You are the one that few understand.
Those that do know you are likely to love you
deeply and wish that they could do something to
ease your pain. You are constantly living in
memories of better times and a better world.
You are hard on yourself and self-critical or
self-loathing. Feeling rejected and unloved,
you are sensitive, caring, deep, and despite
your tainted nature, your soul is
breathtakingly beautiful.


*~*~*Claim Your Wings - Pics and Long Answers*~*~*
brought to you by Quizilla

posted by Jeremy Ryan @ 1:11 AM

finally. last 4 lessons of my driving. after enrolling on the 13th of Jan... time flies as its the 1st of March already... din't know so fast....or actually i knew it was coming... after this4 lessons, the horrific Traffic Police test will come... hopefully by mid week of march? or perhaps before april... I WANT MY CLASS 3. i believe, frm this point of life... more things will soon to come.... hopefully la..

this week = study week aka rotting week. 3 papers to study for... basically, most ppl will think its chicken shit, but for my case, i have to study... release all the distractions that is coming into my head or actually ALREADY IN. *prays* let me pass... i just want a simple grade book by the end of my poly life. pass, get that fucking diploma & fuck into NS. set my goals straight... get it over n done with...

i've done practically everything i could... i had enough of this... if its not meant to be, fuck it. 'gou le' its always been u... making things sour or sweet.... but i've told myself, be it u found happniess or not... i dun wish to know.... u have ur life, ur commitments, to be true, all has nothing gotta do with me. i'll just take it as a long lesson learn.

ok man, $2k. where to find? fucking 7200... gonna expect at least $900+? w/o line? a new bed... i'm dying to put my king koil on a nice bed.... $300+? another thing... after lying comfy on a nice bed... a TV is a MUST have... i'll put a $400 there.... for a nice stereo, flat screen TV... last but not least... the long awaited PS2... now, 2 lobangs... $150 from a frd 2nd hand (not confirm) fuck... or a $400 new set... (surely confirm) hmmm... all these stuff need $ man... as the saying goes my frd, MONEY MAKES THE WORLD GOES ROUND with $ u will be a happy man to a certain extend... anyway, spent already $1.1k on my driving so far, booking all the lessons, made me think, is this an ASSET or a LIABIALITY? hmmm... u decide.

hehe although still feeling the effects from sat night's drinking session at my fav kopitiam, i still think i will stick to kopitiams for beer. anyone wanna join me? ;) embassy? zouk? ms? sian... honestly.... besides the $ issue, if i have $ to spare, i rather go someplace relax, cooling... atmosphere soothing to drink & talk cock then to dance, sweat, have that CLUBBING smell all over my nice short hair (which i will talk about later). how come JR's talking so much today... O_o

speaking on my hair. i've trimmed my locks once again for a MOHAWK style which i love so much 2 yrs ago.... this time, the sides are higher, ponytail longer. lovely. i'm very touched that my CLASS OF nyp mit 0311 came down to support me even though they had their stupid comm skills lesson. w/o them, i wouldn't have won i guess.. speaking of winning. 2 fellas won. another guy was a sea urchin kinda guy. honestly i wouldnt have done anything to my locks last time. but all was gd. he won, i won, overall everyone came out a winner.

LASTLY. shoutouts. firstly, like to thank my dad & mom for supporting me $ for my driving... being understanding. my classmates; CH & poon. ch bought for my cigs from msia. DUN TRY MATTERHORN, kinda sucky :) poon for using his GATSBY stuff on me last thurs & also taking part together. old frd, QX for coming down s-11 amk for a wonderful RAMEN & BEER session last sat, it was a fun talk cock session as we usually have. not forgetting, she. that made me boil higher n higher going to break more limits each time.... u are simply amazing. u are so stubborn, so hard to break... guess i'm just a nobody.

ok peeps, after so much boring shit from me here are songs that i'll like to intro from diff genres. enjoy.

Alt = Dishwalla - Angels or Devils (98.7 fm)
Chi = although i really HATE chinese boy bands... but... 5566 - Shou Hou (93.3fm)
Eng Pop = Robbie Williams - She's The One (95.0fm)
Slow = Righteous Brothers - You've Lost That Loving Feeling (90.5fm)
Dance = The Express - Missing In The Rain (91.3fm)

hmmm, time for a smoke & pee.... until next time.

oh ya, a loud big shout out. THANKS TO MY "GOD MA" aunty Francis Ong. she's the one that groom out a future Mitsubishi Evolution driver in years to come. i'm very grateful to her for helping me for so much. also to ah beng Micheal Peng, "fatty" ah Hong, old bird uncle Ong & motor king Zaifi. u 5 peeps made me learn so much about driving, its more about the speed n fast cars.. ;) CHEERS! "GOD MA" if i pass, i'll fetch u to buy ur PS2 GAMES. mark my word, i'll do it.

posted by Jeremy Ryan @ 1:35 AM