Saturday, March 27, 2004

kiss to tell u i love you, hug to tell u how i miss you, hold hands to tell u how important u are to me; whenever i see you... but i can't do that... ppl, don't ask me "why?".... felt like i'm pouring out my sorrows to everyone to pity me again, FUCK ANYONE WHO THINKS THAT WAY straight up. i would like to explain for Blogger, what is it all about actually. A blogspot is actually a place where u have things to say out, but u just dun like to say it out loud. u might prefer typing than saying, cause somethings or actually most things for me i cant say it out although i want to. Ok, then, i dun wanna continue on & on, its getting no where.

i wanna ask myself, am i thinking too much? am i making assumptions? am i thinking of the impossible? am i always gonna go through the hard way to get anything i want? am i jinxed for life? is this retribution? am i gonna fall so hard as usual & take a very long or might not get up again? honestly, i do not know why is it like this... potong jalan? i dun think so... wrong word to use... u really can make me laugh, cry, smile, frown, fustrated everything. although i have limited TRUE frds out there, u are very special, which makes me know how important u are to me... never like that i felt so strong for any girl before... what's that thing in you that drives me going in all directions... sigh, i dunno.

but the matter of fact is... i'm still a NOBODY... i'm not some fucking hunk or sauve guy out there, just someone that hates the heat so FUCKING badly. wanting it simple & making it simple is still my wish... my biggest wish still stands; its to lead a simple & contented life... i've heard so many morons saying that, but action speaks louder than words... i'm trying to, day by day... feel like shouting FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ARGH! taking the hard path is like a punishment for things i did... i gladly accept it, i have to anyway, its been 19 long fucking yrs now, so it really doesnt matter...

wondering wat are u doing now... honestly i do not know... u have ur rights, everyone have their rights. u dun have to report to anyone, no one have to. but is it wrong to think about it? i dunno... am i a MCP ?, SNAG ? or just a Ah Beng ? all my real frds out there, tell me who am i... i really want to know...

posted by Jeremy Ryan @ 12:34 AM