Thursday, June 24, 2004

hey sis, Happy 16th Birthday! may u enjoy a sweet sixteen bday. ur bro here cant decide on wat to get u, so i'll just give u a $50 bucks ang bao thats the least i could do i guess. i hope that can make u happy. i got no idea on wat to get for u seriously. a sweatshirt is pointless here in sg, u have tons of clothes, accesssories are abundant for u, shoes, slippers. u can never follow the fashion season. just spend ur $50 wisely. love u always, ur bro jr.

y am i blogging at 5am again. i just cant sleep. fuck, i dunno y. fuck the throat, its not the one making me awake full of energy. but its the moffats song that has been ringing in my head...

Here we are
You tell me I'm the only one that makes you feel love again
There you go
I see you watching him when you don't think I know
Should I let you go

So who's it gonna be
Is it him or me

Who do you love Who do you need
Messin up my mind Wastin all my time
Who do you love What do you feel
Stop playin with my heart Tearin my apart
Am I the one who can make you fly up above
Is it me who can take you higher than you're dreamin of
Now who do you love

Turn around
Do you really think you'd play me like a fool for you
Then i realize
When you touch me it's like nothing I have know
Could I let you go

So who's it gonna be
Is it him or me

my 4lettername old frd, this is for u. perhaps, u may think its been kinda draggy, whiny & stuff. but u dunno wat does it feel to be the one pushing harder than anyone else. dun think i'm blowing my own trumpet or telling the whole world wtf i'm. i'm not saying i'm terrific or wat, no. its just from my point of view, going the xtra mile, being sincere is diff from hooking up, trying to get laid (meaning get a fuck). sue me for being blunt but, getting a fuck is wat turns me off. i hate it when ppl go clubbing just to get free make out sessions, hands all over, asking "ur place my place?", hooking up, cheap thrills & so on. it makes me sick. cause i was NEVER EVER like that. my clubbing attitude is for frds to relax, chill, have a clean & good conversation, not for each other to fuck around. pay for ur fucking pussy at brothels. that is $=sex not making love. its just there are many things that cant be explain or typing out here. u gotta go through it, to feel wat makes u have feelings be it gd or bad to anyone. is it so hard to be true to ur actions, ur principles? i dun crave for a pat on my back saying "well done jr, u have been so nice". its so stereotyped, everything is just so artificial. i feel disgusted at times when ppl i know do stupid things without thinking. it makes u no diff from a fucking zoo animal. cant just anyone see the light... i dunno la, most of my frds think i'm the relax, happy go lucky sort. i'm but to a certain extend. JR has changed i guess. just very insecure deep down inside, no confidence in almost everything i do. no point in me blabbing, cause nothing's gonna change nothing. no one owes anyone anything. u dun call the shots, up there does. fate might decide some stuff for u, but as for me, i prefer fucking around with fate & luck. i would rather twist my already twisted life more then let others twist it. *smokes a stick*

my mom's awake. its 5.30 yet i'm not a single bit sleepy. sch gonna reopen, ppl gonna pass out, ppl gonna finish ns, ppl gonna go in ns. what lies ahead? what will fate picture for me? i rather not know, cause all i know for 19yrs is, jr doesnt get anything gd. morning peeps, brush ur teeth & eat ur kayu gu yu & eggs.

posted by Jeremy Ryan @ 4:51 AM