Friday, June 18, 2004

come to think of it, its gonna be 4 months since we known each other. everything that goes up must come down but will bounce up again. why am i posting now, honestly i dunno. perhaps its just that i have lots of things in my head, spinning. i wanna learn how to control my emotions. doesnt mean, being a SNAG or emo-freak is bad. is just that to wat extend how sensitive u are to ppl. i remember once she told me in chinese. 'ren hen fan jian' when u show care & concern to someone, they will take it for granted. to me, this 4 words doesnt really apply. cause it doesnt matter if they take it for granted or wat. cause deep down i know, i did wat i'm suppose to do. pls correct me anyone, if i'm wrong. to love somebody, saying sorry, saying i love u, quarreling, having fun is not everything. the main thing is, the purpose of u doing all this is because U HAVE TRUE FEELINGS about the person. u want her to feel u, u want to do anything just to make her feel safe & secured with u. u will fight for her, tell her how much u feel for u because U LOVE HER. thats wat i feel. i'm not sure if i posted this before. from wat i feel now is that i'm just a person that is judged by appearance by ppl. u can call me watever u like, cause i dun give a fuck. but dun insult me. dun treat me like a idiot or toy. i'll fuck u back so hard. imagine this, JR one corner, Somebody else another corner. if u were to make decision whether bgr or frdship, who will u choose. NOT JR. i think no one has the patience to really understand & know me, no one wanna give me the chance. sigh, there's nothing more i can say or do. i dun wanna hold up a huge tag saying: PITY THIS MOFO! i dun need that. i found someone whom i do feel for w/o regretting. i will do all i can, until the day i cant. thats the day JR is flat out. i got something to say. i kinda hate it when i dunno wats going on, i hate it when there are ppl wielding knives behind me. the sense of mistrust & insecurity frightens me at time. hmmm why. nevertheless, enjoy ur trip. my quote of the week. "i'm not an actor, i'm not perfect. but i just hope someday u will give me the chance to love u in anyway possible." nitey nites or shall i say, good morning... :)

ps: thanks for series 6. really thank you.

posted by Jeremy Ryan @ 4:36 AM