Saturday, May 15, 2004

ok. been in a coma for 3 months or so. now, my state is half-vegetable. read my alffy bro's blog. all my frds out there, pls read it to. under bro's blog links on the left hand side. everything he said is true. i never once doubted him. everything is the cause of my own doing. i got myself entangled with a relationship that whether rocky or steady has none of my concern. i was just wishful thinking that i might have a chance but i know i dont. deep down, past 3 months, it was bitter sweet kinda feeling. but comparing is the last thing on my mind now. i dun care about time to me anymore. time is just something that flies away. 2 yrs or 3 months. it doesnt matter. if there can be 1 day or few hrs. wtf is my 3 months. fuck la, i did everything i could & would i can say now this. I TRIED MY FUCKING BEST NOW, I'M FUCKING TIRED. I GAVE EVERYTHING I HAD. mentally i know wat the outcome will be... i just have to take it in my stride. all the songs i've been listening to, all the lyrics can never make up wat i feel & understand about the word LOVE

btw, kc aka ol-lol, dun say i'm a PARTY ANIMAL i'm NOT A FUCKING ONE. yes, i chiong, i go nightspots, i drink. but i dun fucking party there like no one's business. i dun get drunk & fuck girls. i dun pick up girls. i dun seat in corner & zero down on girls. i go places is GIVE FACE. frds jio me, i go GIVE FACE. remember, if i wanna party, i must have the ability to. ask me dance, ask me drink. i can. ask me pick up girls no. i CAN NEVER DO THAT. i'm not like that. ppl who are reading this, u might be thinking, Wtf, all men are like that. i can tell u straight in ur face. Shut The Fuck Up if the whole world don't believe anything i say or do, i know my 2 Brothers Alfred Kok Thim Fei & Benjamin Foo Yao Ren will. Say i'm a JIAO LANG, 3rd Party WHATEVER MAN. I DUN GIVE A SHIT.

ppl say i'm a changed man. ppl think i'm this i'm that. let me explain to u all Who The Fuck Jeremy Ryan is. I'm human. I have feelings I have emotions. Yes, u think i'm a beng or wat, so be it. I dun give a fuck. I have attitude, I have temper. But every single time when I'm feeling it, I'm trying so fucking hard to calm it down. Do u know? U don't. U don't know who am I. Everything I do for ppl or whatever, I do it because I know by doing it, it will make both parties HAPPY. I don't fucking seek pity or sympathy from ANYONE. U have friendster? READ MY PROFILE. from the day i started friendster, I HAVE NEVER REJECTED ANY TESTIMONIAL. because I believe ALL THOSE THINGS THEY SAID TO ME IS TRUE. ya, i dun deny, i like Techno, i Smoke like fuck, i Drink like fuck, i Swear like fuck, a Loud mouth, Bad-Ass attitude, i have Tattoos. YA BUT I'm changing everyday. If I can be a better man, I WANT TO. Who want their boyfriend or frd or bro or watever to be like ME. no one wants to. fuck man, I dun care.

All i can say now is, past 18yrs 5months & 15days of my life, this is the ONLY TIME I WILL EVER FEEL FOR SOMEONE LIKE U. NO MORE. for u, i'll put in the extra 200% effort. honestly, i dun care if CD-R knows me, know wtf has been going on or whatever. Cause i'm a fighter. I'll fucking fight for wat i desire. Everything I did since i was born out, I HAVE NO REGRETS. But, on the other hand, I give HIM my UTMOST RESPECT for keeping a girl like u beside him for 2 yrs. For u to turn around & make him happy instead of him doing it. IS SOMETHING I ADMIRE him. For U to niam on him.

Conclusion: thanks for everything. as my hopes is fading day after day, all i know is, i never make any empty promises to u. i'll finish whatever i started. u feel stress with me right? u feel everything negative right? sooner or later, u wont have to go through all that shit anymore. thank you.

posted by Jeremy Ryan @ 5:30 PM